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Special ReportThe Official Unrefinery Enemies List, Part 1 | FailRichard Nixon was an evil bastard, but he was an organized evil bastard, famously maintaining a list of his enemies in Washington and beyond. In the spirit of his one redeeming idea, we present part 1 of the official Unrefinery Enemies List.1. Thom Browne Apparently Thom Browne likes to see men dressed up as little boys. We don't know why, and we don't WANT to know why. The only saving grace of TB is that his clothes are never actually worn in the real world; they exist primarily as a demonstration of how, in these hard economic times, to dress in a manner that will get you moved to the top of the list when your company has to lay someone off. 2. Twitter There can be no surer sign that a technology has jumped the shark as when it is enthusiastically embraced by Congressional Republicans. And there they were during President Obama's first address to the joint session, heads down, twitting to their handful of tech-literate constituents. Twitter was useless to begin with, but now it has become the official conduit by which Mitch McConnell can inform America that he's just taken a dump in his Depends. It's over. 3. The North Face Ugly clothing deserves ugly branding, we suppose, and The North Face obliges—creating outerwear that looks like ass and embroidering on a logo more dated than a leisure suit. Heinous enough on its own merits, it then became the official uniform of the least-classy people on the planet, the Palin hillbillies of Wasilla, Alaska. This convergence of embarrassing elements forms a sort of unstoppable vortex of suck. Stand well clear of it so you don't get pulled in. | |
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