Bernie Madoff's crap was auctioned off over the weekend, and while we weren't quite sure what to expect from his wardrobe, we were kind of surprised anyway. You'd think a ridiculously rich person would either (a) have the finest bespoke everything, as befits someone who has the means to wear the best materials and a perfect fit every day, or (b) be a monument to conspicuous consumption, arbitrarily grabbing the flashy and expensive without regard for style (the sartorial equivalent of gold toilets and jewel-encrusted umbrella holders). Madoff's clothing and shoe choices are all over the place—he had dozens of pairs of John Lobb shoes, along with a handful of Tods and Prada; but he also wore orange Crocs and Hawaiian Tropic flip flops. You can picture someone telling him that Lobb makes great shoes, and him responding by going home and arbitrarily ordering 20 pairs of them sight unseen. His shirts run the gamut from Charvet down to "Main Street Wholesale Meat", with the only apparent common thread being that whenever there was an embroidery option, he put his name on it. Collectively it all paints a picture of a guy who just sort of wanted stuff, period.