The Unrefinery criteria for a great Olympic opening ceremony uniform would be, in no particular order,
  • Predominant, but not exclusive, use of national colour(s).
  • Expression of national identity.
  • Avoidance of excessive, vulgar branding (we're looking at you, Ralph).
  • Real-world wearability.
  • Highly compatible male and female variants.
This year's winners:
  1. Uruguay. Yes, even with the white sneakers, as a concession to practicality. The white trousers, pale blue linen jackets and gold accessories mirror their flag in a non-literal way while at the same time looking like resortwear. As if they were on a holiday in Rio, say, or something.
  2. Peru. Simple and unmistakeably Perivian. Scarf printed with flag motif worn one way for gents, another for women. Awesome hats.
  3. Bermuda. Obviously they're going to wear Bermuda shorts at every opening ceremony, and they look great doing it. OWN that sh*t.
  4. Botswana. It's not easy wearing sky blue and black but they pulled it off.
  5. Tunisia. If your colour is a vivid red you don't need to wear it head to toe. You have to appreciate small touches that won't necessarily read on TV—each scarf and tie bears a small national crest, and each jacket contains a single red-stitched buttonhole. Nice.

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