Best Halloween costume ever. And you can find everything you need at J.C.Penney:

• One pair of terrible "dad jeans", the more high-waisted the better. Two sizes too big.
• One black mock turtleneck. Again, two sizes too big.
• One pair of round-framed eyeglasses.

For extra credit, haphazardly shave the top of your head. And/or get two effete friends wearing white headphones who will walk in front of you and toss rose petals where your feet will tread.