October 11, 2013  ·  culture

Eat an apple with a knife

Anybody can dress well, but if you want to be really cool, eat an apple with a knife. A mundane activity is transformed into a flirtation with danger as one false move will get you a stab to the roof of your mouth, a wound comparable to that incurred when eating a spoonful of Cap'n Crunch that hasn't been sufficiently submerged. Furthermore, it's a manly reference to a primitive time, eating something the way the cowboys once did in between cattle drives and cuddling up with showgirls and/or Heath Ledger. It's probably the closest you'll come to having anything in common with a Hun who drinks mead out of the skull of a vanquished enemy.

Right: Mad Mad Mad Mad movies reviews Tarkan vs. the Vikings

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