The monolithic new Restoration Hardware catalogue (left) weighs nearly three pounds, and if you're wondering how they can afford to send out such an expensive piece of direct mail, it all becomes clear a couple of pages in when we learn they're charging a premium for what is basically incomplete furniture (see chair, right, $2,000). If you don't really "get" antiques, and if you particularly loathe fake distressing, then Restoration's "deconstructed" collection is some next-level fail: faux-19th-century pieces missing key upholstery panels, riddled with holes from nails that never held fabric and tufts of make-believe padding. Not sure we want to know how the cotton was "antiqued". Seriously, this is like buying a tennis ball that's already chewed to s**t and coated in dog slobber. Or worse.

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