December 19, 2012  ·  culture  ·  style

Ten Facts About JOE BIDEN

This week President Obama tapped our man JOE BIDEN to lead a task force on gun violence. In addition to being an all-around bad-ass, last month's Costco excursion (left) confirmed what we all already knew—that JOE BIDEN can even look cool while scouting Brobdingnagian pies at a warehouse store. Here are a few lesser-known facts about #44's #2:
  1. JOE BIDEN is the 51st shade of grey.
  2. "12/12/12" was a reference to JOE BIDEN's measurements. The first two are his glove and shoe size.
  3. JOE BIDEN came to Washington to kick ass and drink hot cocoa, and JOE BIDEN is all out of hot cocoa.
  4. Bullfighters think JOE BIDEN is one crazy motherf**ker.
  5. JOE BIDEN can get jiggy without it. Either way.
  6. Whup-ass opens a can of JOE BIDEN.
  7. JOE BIDEN doesn't wear a watch. It's whatever time JOE BIDEN says it is.
  8. JOE BIDEN can get blood from a stone.
  9. JOE BIDEN doesn't need to seek medical attention for an erection that lasts more than four hours.
  10. On the seventh day, JOE BIDEN rested. Just kidding — he kicked ass. JOE BIDEN never rests.

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