It isn't funny to wear an ugly Christmas sweater, even ironically. In the office suite below Unrefinery HQ is a dentist who wears giant pleated khakis and shirts that billow out like a mushroom cloud around his midsection. We probably don't need to tell you he drives a Porsche. His bald spot is the size of one of New Jersey governor Chris Christie's butt cheeks. The first time we met him was when he wandered up with his iPhone in hand to ask if he could indefinitely freeload on our wi-fi. He's the sort of guy who would think showing up at a party in a green sweater adorned with reindeer would be hilarious.

The key to not being that guy while still having a bit of fun with this seasonal staple is to pick a sweater that is more implicitly wintery than explicitly Christmassy. And you can travel up or down the range of implied to overt depending on how far Santa has sacked up.

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